About Me

Elgin, Illinois
hey guys... about me, lets see. I go to Judson University and have a passion for people. I love the Lord and wait for his plan every day. Right now he has placed on my heart the opportunity to talk to all of you with the issue that seems to be very apparent on our campus this year... IMMODESTY :) i truly feel called to investigate this because its something that is all around us and there are no real boundaries drawn. Now with this blog I want to bridge the gap and have a place for us all to talk about this issue, what the Bible says, what our views are and maybe we can find some common ground. *shrug* Its worth a shot to try to get every ones voices heard.

who's out there?

21 October 2008

Are Clothes the Only Problem?

Looking at the site and the past posts I realized that we're not looking at the whole picture. Lack of clothes is not the only issue, it has to do with the intentions of the person and what is in their heart. One of the readers posted this link for a very helpful website last week you should check it out I found it to be very full of information. http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/
That information answers a lot of the questions brought up in the past post with real information from real people. But we shouldn't only be worried about the clothes its the way we as women view ourselves and what our intentions are. Do you want a guy who loves you for your mind or likes you for your figure? What do you think? Is flirting wrong? Does it depend on the intentions of the flirting? How does that work, think of it also in the perspective of the guys and the way they would interpret it. Another thought that was brought up to me was "what if the guy is a Christian it shouldn't matter what I'm wearing, he should be able to control himself" I disagree I think its our job as women to take care of our guys and not put them in that situation, but I want to know what you think...

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, using the "guys just shouldn't look" argument is a load of bullshit. You'd have better luck placing fifty pounds of raw steak in an aquarium filled with pihranas and tell them not to eat it. The analogy's not as far off as it sounds, either. Guys are visual by nature, why do you think guys are portrayed as stereotypically looking at pornographic magazines (now websites) and girls are stereotypically portrayed as reading the rather risqué romatic novels? Women tend to be more imaginative and guys tend to be more visually oriented. Why can't we, as a Christian society, admit that our fallen nature still will lead people into sin and temptation, and do everything in our power to not be a stumblingblock to our brothers?

Anonymous said...

While reading this post, ive realized that clothes are not the only problem. I, being a woman, have many a few times used my sexuality to make men(or boys, because we all know they are boys in college, not men ;)) jealous. I will purposely dress in ways that would make a boy wish he wouldnt have treated me so poorly. and no, i dont dress in extremely revealing things, something simple as heels and a nice top struttin myself around campus. and really, its a proclaimation to those that have hurt me or think they have control over my actions or feelings.

i am not saying this is the right thing to do, but i do think that men or boys think that they have so much control of the way things should be, or make us do or say things that we might not feel is right. so we do subtle things to get back at them.

agree, or disagree, we all do it and have done it. and it may or may not be right, but what other defense do we have?

~r

Anonymous said...

When it comes to modesty between men and women, both sexes are stuck between a rock and a hard place. Honestly, guys shouldn't look, not based on physics, but on principle. If he can't stop, it's his responsibility to take himself out of that situation. On the other hand, girls really shouldn't dress that way; God intended for a man to wonder what's under a woman's clothing but not to dwell on it, but if she's dressed in such a way that men fail to notice that she is even wearing clothes then she's getting all the wrong kind of attention.

In defense of women everywhere, there is nothing wrong with "struttin' your stuff" every now and then. In fact, I personally believe that it's good for morale if you will. When a women is happy with the way she looks everyone in the room is happier for it. Physical attraction is good, it's healthy, but it needs to be treated like chocolate; a piece every now and again makes you smile, it may even be healthy for you, but if you eat the entire box in one sitting because you're boyfriend just broke up with you, people just get sick of looking at you.

And besides, if a girl puts on a longer skirt, she might be surprised at the conversations that a guy can strike up. Keeping him curious condones a thought process. Who knows, maybe you girls will discover that us boys actually do have brains!

Anonymous said...

Well, ultimately, sin is the guy's responsibility. If he lusts over a girl, he sins, it's his fault, end of story. That said, we shouldn't be a stumbling block. Some guys will stumble no matter what a girl wears though. And imagine a guy who is ALWAYS around women who wear long pants/skirts, are always covered up, never goes swimming with girls, etc, only goes to walmart in the middle of the day when it's mostly middle aged men and women wearing modest clothes, is homeschooled, and spends times only with people from his church, etc. You know what I'm saying. When he sees a girl in even modest shorts and a relatively tight t-shirt, he will stumble. On the other hand, a guy who is surrounded by that is less likely to stumble from it.SO, we don't need to protect them entirely from looking at a women, because they won't know how to deal with lust when it hits them in the face.

Anonymous said...

well I feel for one that it is not the womens "job" to take care of men. I thought we were over that discussion years ago. Men have minds of their own and they are very visual. So naturally they would be attracted to visually appealing things. But this also means that women need to be conscious of what kind of visuals we are giving them. You can be flashy and modest all at the same time, but you cant put a pancho over your head and complain that you have never had a date before. And also what about the flip side! why is it the womens fault! what about the guys! when a guy is wearing a hot pair of riped jeans and a cute polp shirt are we supposed to tell him to put a pancho on because I cant stop stairing at his butt? It goes both ways. We all need to be conscious of our actions and what we put on in the morning. And we all need to be level headed about this issue. How you dress is who you are going to attrack. If you are always wearing booty shorts and low cut shirts and you complain that you can never find a decent guy maybe change you style to be little more modest and see where that gets you.

Anonymous said...

wow was that a guys comment up there? when i first saw this site my first thought was you would never get guys to read it... good show.

Jeremy Priest said...

The body reveals God. Men's bodies don't make sense by themselves and women's bodies don't make sense by themselves. It's only when they are in relation to each other that male and female make sense.

God is Love: He is not a solitary being, but a community of persons: God has at His very heart the essence of familial love - fatherhood, sonship, and the essence of the family, which is love.

God created us in the image of this love and stamped it in our very bodies. We image God by the fact of our intellect, will, and memory, but also by our bodies!

God has stamped His image in our very bodies. In their very bodies a man and a woman discover that each one is called to be a gift to the other in love. Our bodies speak that language: through my body I am to be a gift to another person!

Modesty:

The body is the way the person gives himself or herself. If I use my body or my body is used by another person, then the language of the body no longer speaks love, but something less than love.

Modest dress is an attempt to dress in such a way that I can express my personhood (including my sexual distinctiveness) without being used by others. This is why we cover ourselves when someone walks into our bathroom unexpectedly...we're not sure who it is, and we're not sure if their gaze will use us.

Modest dress is out because we have lost a sense of our dignity as persons. If we knew the gift of God we would live a voracious modesty that would be amazingly beautiful!

Anonymous said...

wow you nailed it right on the head when i read this blog i wasnt sure how to word my response but you fired it up :)